The Naked Roommate by Harlan Cohen

Author:Harlan Cohen
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Sourcebooks
Published: 2017-02-17T16:00:00+00:00

Loving yourself is about getting comfortable in your skin and knowing that you’re attractive, good enough, and interesting enough with or without a partner. When you love yourself, you can say what you think, do what you feel, set boundaries, demand respect, command respect, and live a life driven by passion.

Bottom Line

Love yourself first and you will always have love in your life.

Tip #56

Close-Distance Relationships

The Tip

Don’t date anyone who lives on your floor in your hall.

The Story

We started dating in November of my freshman year. He lived down the hall on the same floor, which is how we met. In the beginning, it was fun because I had someone to date who lived down the hall. It would be easy to spend the night together. I didn’t have to get up early to go home because I was already home. Right before finals week is when it got very frustrating. If I wasn’t in class or I wasn’t with him, he asked where I was and why I wasn’t with him. And then people were asking about us—and it wasn’t fun anymore. We just kind of decided it was too much and we wanted to be friends. Once I broke up with him, I found more friends on the floor and became so much closer with them. I got to see my roommate more and now we’re best friends.

—junior, Northern Illinois University

“If I could start all over, I would tell someone not to rush into a relationship. If you rush into something, it may feel too perfect and then, when it ends, it crushes you. I wish someone had told me not to get too involved too fast. I’m someone who got crushed.”

—freshman, Lynn University

***

Messing around with a neighbor (a.k.a. “dormcest” or “hallcest”) might seem great when it’s all good, but when it goes bad, you want to be as far away as possible. The person who was once your convenient love becomes your inconvenient nightmare neighbor. Don’t be so quick to date next door. It’s lazy and potentially hazardous to your health.

“I met my girlfriend in the laundry room. I was sitting on top of the machine waiting for my clothes to dry and she was sitting next to me on her washing machine.”

—freshman, Virginia Tech

Remember that part about being able to walk down the hall to your room in the morning after shacking up? It’s no longer a good thing. And the part about sharing a dining hall and seeing that person at every meal? Meals together will now make you sick. And also, that part about having so many of the same friends you both hung out with? Now that’s just too uncomfortable. Then there’s seeing who he or she is now dating. Things close by are good until they go good-bye, and most relationships will go bye-bye at some time or another. Think twice before grabbing that person close by just because it’s convenient. Besides, it’s just lazy. There is a lot of love in a lot of places if you’re willing to take the risk to find the loving.

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